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I felt your character could use some minor adjustments. I felt that the nickname "Fin" should not be used because there were characters named Finatar and Fintan. I felt the last picture was excessively big and future pictures should be cropped or shrunken. Since you can draw pictures, I feel that the scene with Finatar's lover, Finatar's duel and Finatar's fight with the demon should be illustrated somehow. The paragraphs were hard to visually distinguish with only one space dividing them. I use two spaces on my characters.


I liked the way your character was written. I liked the way he had internal struggles about killing his kin. I liked the way he was cursed by the demon. I liked the way the story didn't end in a perfect ending like children's stories. He didn't get the girl and he wasn't the consummate "good" guy fighting against pure "evil". He was like Illidan. Illidan was neither pure good or pure evil. In fact, I think most of the characters in Warcraft lore are amoral. They were driven by greed, prejudice, sadism or vengeance. Some characters I have read were written like they were a history text instead of a novel. Yours was written like a novel.--User:TopDread10:00 Feb 14 2006 (PST)

Excellent background.

That was marvelous reading. Almost made me cry, 'cept that I have makeup on and I would rather not have to clean up smeared mascara and reapply everything... The tale was captivating, rather like a long summary. There were still a few grammatical errors, and I agree with the other poster about using "Fin" (though I sympathize; typing Lossemenel out can get rather annoying, and she's my character). Otherwise, a great job, and I look forward to reading the rest of it when you get around to updating.

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