Saurfang facts

This is a silly article.
The content of this article is not part of official Warcraft lore, but has nevertheless become part of the World of Warcraft culture or community.

This article contains true facts about High Overlord Saurfang. They started after he revealed his greatness leading the Might of Kalimdor in the Gates of Ahn'Qiraj event, and expanded via the infamous Barrens chat.

Facts must be Warcraft-related, must not be repeated from facts already in the list, and must use good, concise, English grammar. Incoherent, un-funny, or facts which are similar to another will be edited out. Facts must also be 'appropriate' (see talk page).

Abilities, attributes, and behavior

• The Infinite Dragonflight aren't the ones screwing up the Caverns of Time. It's actually Saurfang in disguise.
• Saurfang is in your bedroom, wearing your watch.
• In a fight between Saurfang and Saurfang, Sargeras would lose.
• High Overlord Saurfang doesn't have a respawn timer. He doesn't need one.
• Saurfang's hearthstone crits for 1337 damage.
• Saurfang vendors  [Head of Nefarian].
• Saurfang is too mighty for mere flags. When he fights in Warsong Gulch, he runs back to the Horde Base with Darnassus tied on a stick.
• If High Warlord Saurfang uses something that triggers the GCD, everyone in a 50,000 yard radius gets the GCD instead.
• Saurfang doesn't actually wear armor, what you see is his skin.
• When High Overlord Saurfang says "It's Peanut Butter Jelly Time!", every damn player and NPC on Azeroth sits down and eats a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, except for Tauren males, who start dancing.
• High Overlord Saurfang can use a bow, and he uses axes as ammunition.
• No one has ever seen Saurfang's angry face, because his cleave moves faster than his facial expression can change.
• High Overlord Saurfang once learned Soul Link by punching a demon in the face.
• High Overlord Saurfang has infinite talent points. He has spent 20.
• Saurfang's Taunt is completely useless, as nothing on Azeroth is stupid enough to focus all of their attention on him.
• High Overlord Saurfang is the only being in existence to have survived Tirion Fordring's Reckoning Bomb.
• Saurfang once asked for Enchant Weapon - Major Intellect on his axe. No one dared ask why.
• Overlord Saurfang is only afraid of one thing... Mrs. Saurfang.
• Saurfang will be able to play the hero class "Bard".
• Saurfang needs no healers. He needs no one to tank for him. He's the one-man raid who will take Sargeras down. While sleeping and with one hand tied behind his back.
• Saurfang will once, and only once kneel down to anything. It will be to loot Sargeras. You have been warned.
• When Saurfang drinks  [Darkmoon Special Reserve], his perception of your level doesn't decrease; your level actually decreases.
• Officially, High Overlord Saurfang is exalted with the Horde and the Alliance at the same time, but that's because Thrall and the Alliance Lords couldn't afford to be at war with him. Even so, he hates both sides to keep his rage bar full.
• When Saurfang was level 10, he joined the queue for Warsong Gulch. When he entered, he was level 72. His first cleave cleaved the battlefield in half, his second killed both Spirit Guides, his third killed everyone else.
• Any attempt to [Shield Wall] against Saurfang results in a broken shield and a cleaved face.
• Saurfang eats gnomes and craps out cleaves.
• Saurfang whistles in Darnassian.
• High Overlord Saurfang doesn't actually have a rage bar... instead the bar below his health is actually a new measure of power not implemented yet. The only reason it isn't implemented is because Blizzard was afraid that putting a numerical measure of Saurfang's awsomeness would cause a paradox.
• Once, High Overlord Saurfang used Cleave while affected by [Sweeping Strikes]. The attack caused a chain reaction of attacks that slaughtered every single gnome in a 700 mile radius.
• You know, it's not Kil'jaeden who Kael is trying to summon from the Sunwell. It's actually Saurfang.
• In reality, Saurfang has already killed all of us. It's just that his attack is so powerful it creates an alternate universe where it seems that we are still alive.
• In a base defense game, Saurfang is a tower class.
• If Saurfang were your pet, he'd dismiss you.
• Saurfang's rage stays at 100.
• Saurfang's class is not 'Warrior', it's actually 'Saurfang'.
• When High Overlord Saurfang does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the universe down.
• If Saurfang killed himself everyone else would die instead.
• Saurfang can kill a player in a duel before the 3 second countdown is finished.
• Saurfang can swim from Kalimdor to Eastern Kingdoms in a single stroke.
• High Overlord Saurfang can use Shield Bash, Shield Block, Shield Wall, Shield Slam, Spell Deflection, and Intervene all at the same time...without using a shield.z
• Saurfang doesn't get Mind Controlled. He gets so bored when he fights that he falls asleep and sleep walks.
• Saurfang is immune to the looks change that comes with Blix's Eyesight Enhancing Romance Goggles. And your face will get cleaved if you even THINK why that's so.
• If Saurfang cleaves you, you do not lose 10% durability. You will lose all your armor, and will be unable to return to your corpse because the pieces will be too far apart from each other to rez all at once. You cannot even create a new character, as the cleave has already killed any character you've ever had or ever will have.
• The green glow around Saurfang’s weapon is actually a poison. When one is affected by this poison, they feel as if they were continuously being cleaved in the face until the excruciating pain causes them to commit suicide. However, no one has ever been infected with it because Saurfang’s cleaves are always fatal.
• Saurfang does not have every profession; Saurfang is every profession.
• Saurfang once visited Drek'Thar in Alterac Valley; the result caused the entire Alliance and Explorer's League forces to execute a full retreat.
• High Overlord Saurfang's Cleave is so powerful that it can be seen from Outland by the naked eye.
• High Overlord Saurfang's level has recently been changed from 62 to 72. This is not an actual reflection of his level, but rather a more accurate update, since 72 is closer to infinity.
• High Overlord Saurfang always has a full Rage bar, because he is permanently pissed.
• High Overlord Saurfang is always Out of Combat, because any opposition made against him is considered too trivial and one-sided to be considered as actual combat.
• High Overlord Saurfang can never fight honorably, because every kill he makes is considered a Dishonorable Kill.
• Items cannot be soulbound to High Overlord Saurfang. He has no soul.
• High Overlord Saurfang collects only the heads of dragons. He eats the rest.
• When High Overlord Saurfang AFK's out of a Battle Ground, YOU get the deserter buff.
• "Hardcore" is a word to describe the flesh of High Overlord Saurfang. No other word has been invented so strong or descriptive enough to describe what lies beneath that entire hide.
• High Overlord Saurfang wasn't killed, he feigned death because Kruul wasn't worth his time.
• Blizzard once tried to nerf Saurfang but changed their mind after he murdered the programming team.
• High Overlord Saurfang IS prepared.
• High Overlord Saurfang always knows the EXACT location of Kranal Fiss,  [Stolen Silver] and Mankrik's Wife.
• THERE ARE NO LEGENDARY WEAPONS IN OUTLAND!!...Saurfang lives in Orgrimmar.
• High Overlord Saurfang wasn't actually trying in Silithus. If he had been, no one else would have been able to fight.
• High Overlord Saurfang is the REAL faction leader of the Horde... Thrall is just the peon who cleanses his cave and picks up the skeletons of the floor.
• High Overlord Saurfang does not use weapons, armor, or any other type of equipment. What we see is just a manifestation of his absolute awesomeness.
• High Overlord Saurfang is not affected by resurrection sickness since 75% of infinity is still infinity.
• Saurfang gets the "Your target is dead" message any time he tries to use a skill on anyone, because if he's targeting you, you're already done for.
• If Saurfang were to open a trade window with you, all your gold would instantly be sent to him.
• Saurfang doesn't have crits. If he did, WoW would have many major server crashes, due to the fact that Saurfang's attacks make enough lag already.

Impossibilities

• Saurfang uses the Jormungar worm as Dental floss.
• High Overlord Saurfang didn't need to sign up for the Beta.
• The fastest leveling record was set by Saurfang. This occurred so fast that he BROKE the limit.
• Saurfang taunted Happy Fun Ball.
• High Overlord Saurfang once attacked a rogue with cheat death on, the rogue still died in one hit.
• If you somehow managed to polymorph Saurfang, you'd be the first person in WoW to be killed by a sheep.
• The only known way to survive a Saurfang cleave is for High Overlord Saurfang to have rez sickness when he cleaves you. Too bad he can't die.
• High Overlord Saurfang can "Pop" Enrage.
• Saurfang can put Cleave, Sunder Armor, Thunder Clap, and Eviscerate into one macro, and use it at will even though the last isn't even a warrior skill. This is because no rogue trainer is stupid enough to refuse to teach him.
• Saurfang take candle.
• Saurfang CAN cast Fireball, Flamestrike, Fire Shock, Scorch, Immolate, Rain of Fire, Blast Wave, and Dragon's Breath with his rage bar.
• Saurfang CAN wield wands. They shoot cleaves.
• Saurfang CAN stealth. It's just that you can't see it.
• A druid tried to cast Entangling Roots on Saurfang. He pulled them out of the ground and uprooted Orgrimmar.
• High Overlord Saurfang can use [Spell Reflection] against the use ability of  [Martin Thunder].
• GMs have concluded that if  [The Unstoppable Force] and  [The Immovable Object] were to collide, there would be no survivors... except for Saurfang,
• Although impossible, if you were to dodge one of High Overlord Saurfang's attacks, he'd be mildly aggravated and kill you twice on the spot.
• Saurfang DOES know the location of the cow level, and beat it 42 times.
• High Overlord Saurfang enchanted his High Warlord's Greataxe with Agility because he can.
• Saurfang can Execute his enemy at 100% Health. Just to save him time.
• High Overlord Saurfang considers "Two-Hand" to just be a suggestion for his weapon, not a requirement.
• High Overlord Saurfang doesn't appear to have a mount, but look closer -- everything on the planet is standing on it.
• Saurfang cannot target anything, because him concentrating on a single thing would cause massive server crashes.
• Saurfang can roll a level 1 Death Knight, even before Wrath of the Lich King was released.
• If someone somehow found Saurfang's TCG Card, they and anyone else who saw it would be erased from existence because Saufang's card is not fit for mortal eyes.

Relations with other characters

• The reason Hogger is so powerful is because Saurfang says so.
• Saurfang farted behind Al'Akir who was behind Ragnaros which caused alot of Azeroth to be burnt, thus making the Burning Steppes, Searing Gorge and the Badlands
• Ysera heard a rumor that Saurfang was coming for her. The Emerald Dream started becoming the Nightmare that day.
• Varimathras didn't kill Balnazzar because he was still loyal to him, he only defeated him because Saurfang had dibs on him, and NOBODY CROSSES SAURFANG!
• Kel'Thuzad is moving to Northrend because Saurfang finally decided to kill him and destroy his phylactery. But Saurfang became aware of this and now he, too, is going to Northrend.
• In Tales of the Past III, Arthas didn't kill Saurfang. Saurfang merely fell asleep from boredom.
• When in the end of the first WotLK trailer Arthas said "in the end, all must serve the one, true king" he actually referred to Saurfang.
• Kil'jaeden wasn't sucked back in by the Sunwell. When he decided to come out and send all raid members to hell, he saw Saurfang and retreated. However, he left his pendant behind to please Saurfang.
• Nightbane is Saurfang's Dragon-kite.
• Saurfang once cleaved Echo of Medivh in the face for cheating in a game of chess.
• Archimonde lied when he said that doom had come to world. It came when Saurfang was born.
• Deathwing is hiding because of Saurfang.
• Saurfang stares C´thun down.
• Sargeras isn't trapped in the Twisting Nether, he's just too afraid of High Overlord Saurfang to set foot on land.
• Before Saurfang cleaved him, he used to be known as Cookie McAwesomelyStrongSauce.
• Jaina is currently cheating on Thrall with Saurfang. Thrall knows, but is too afraid of Saurfang to say anything.
• Cairne called High Overlord Saurfang crazy; the result gave him his name of "Bloodhoof".
• The Four Horsemen of Naxxramas actually live in Saurfang's nut sack.
• Ivus the Forest Lord Is Saurfang's firewood.
• Saurfang really killed Mannoroth, while practicing his Throwing Axe skill it carved from Orgrimmar through the mountain and struck the demon in the chest.
• If High Overlord Saurfang was a hunter he would tame Omen, if he was a warlock, he would enslave Doom Lord Kazzak, if he decided to go to Outland, Nefarian would be his flying mount.
• Kil'Jaeden sent Illidan instead of Saurfang to destroy the Lich King because he was afraid that after Saurfang was done with the Lich King, he'd come for him next.
• High Overlord Saurfang is currently suing The Lich King, claiming that The Scourge was already the trademarked name for his teeth.
• Arthas was actually the Lich King's second choice... High Overlord Saurfang mocked his request.
• Once High Overlord Saurfang used Hamstring on Wirt and sliced his leg off, because Wirt insisted there was no cow level.
• The Horde would have gotten High Overlord Saurfang to destroy Archimonde with one blow but they were too scared to wake him up.
• When Archimonde used to yell "None can stand before the Burning Legion!" he made sure not to say it too loud, in case High Overlord Saurfang took offense.
• At first, Thrall considered High Overlord Saurfang to accompany him in killing Mannoroth, but Saurfang refused, claiming that Mannoroth simply wasn't worth the effort.
• Once known as Screamer, he was reduced to Murmur after meeting Saurfang.
• Broxigar isn't really Saurfang's brother, did not really die and did not really injure Sargeras, Broxigar is really Saurfang just when he stepped foot in outlands Sargeras was so scared and ran away so fast he was able to escape the explosion of Saurfang stepping foot on the ground around him he escaped with just a scratch.

Things coming from Saurfang

• If Saurfang says there is no Cow Level, then there damn well better not be a Cow Level!
• 20% of Fel Iron is made out of bits of Saurfang's bacteria.
• Kael'thas didn't create the Sunwell by emptying his vial of the Well of Eternity into, Saurfang just needed to wash up after a day of cleaving the Alliance, and that fountain was the closest thing to him.
• High Overlord Saurfang once met someone who questioned his right as High Overlord. The Master's Glaive is a result of this.
• Saurfang once urinated on Onyxia's Lair's front doorstep to express his disdain for her. The resulting acidic reactions turned Dustwallow Marsh from a beautiful land of rolling green hills into the dive it is today.
• One day, High Overlord Saurfang decided that he wanted to play Diablo II, but with new content and better graphics. The very same day, Blizzard announced Diablo III.
• Saurfang had a pet dog who ran away one day. The dog now resides in the Upper Blackrock Spire.
• The dark portal was really closed because the Alliance was afraid of Saurfang.
• It was actually Saurfang's pure awesomeness that corrupted the orcs, not the Burning Legion.
• High Overlord Saurfang is really the person who gets First Posts, but due to a glitch a random name appears.
• The Infinite Dragonflight is the result of Saurfang chewing up a Nether Dragon.
• Frostmoune was a normal sword... that is, until Saurfang found it.
• Highlord Kruul was removed from the game after Saurfang used [Spell Reflection] when Kruul tried using Kazzak's Assault and killed every NPC in Kalimdor.
• High Overlord Saurfang once drank gasoline and pissed on a rock, thus giving birth to Supremus.
• Saurfang farted over a candle, thus Ragnaros was born.
• The Light no longer answered the prayers of Nobundo because Saurfang decided religion is a load of crap.
• In his youth, Saurfang stepped on an ant. From this moment of contact with his awesomeness, the Silithid were born.
• The destruction of Archimonde and Nordrassil at the Battle of Mount Hyjal was the result of Saurfang blowing his nose. The Wisps were his boogers.
• Deciding he needed a way to terrorize the Alliance without leaving Orgrimmar, Saurfang took 2 boar pelts, sewed them together, vomited into them and left the resulting mess in Elwynn Forest. 2 days later, the mess came alive, becoming the creature we now know as Hogger.
• The reason Naxxramas is really getting moved has nothing to do with lore or the Wrath of the Lich King expansion. Blizzard just got tired of Saurfang's Tuesday morning solo jaunts through it, then selling all the loot, thereby crushing every server's economy.
• Once, Saurfang sneezed. It's result can be seen at the center of a map of Azeroth.
• Saurfang and Foror once got into an eye poking fight. There is an item called Foror's Eyepatch. Go figure.
• The Sword of a Thousand Truths is actually Saurfang's toothpick.
• At the end of the Third War,at the top of Mount Hyjal, Saurfang had to fart. The resulting blast destroyed Archimonde and everything in a 10 mile radius around the World Tree.
• Scholomance is where Saurfang went to Nursery.
• High Overlord Saurfang created Un'Goro crater by crapping in a ditch.
• Saurfang is Azeroth's one true god. The Earth Mother exists because Saurfang doesn't want a bunch of cattle praying to him.
• The crystal from which the Ashbringer was forged is neither a piece of a Naaru, nor an Ata'mal crystal, but a piece of Saurfang's snot that was left behind as he cleaved through the battlefields.
• The Sunwell's corruption is the result of Saurfang using it as a toilet.
• The progression percent on Isle of Quel'danas is not how close they are to capturing something, it's how much more they have to convince Saurfang until he allows more NPCs onto Azeroth.
• Saurfang cleaved in Argus and it cut all Apples in Azeroth and Outland in half.
• Blizzard is debating to remove the warrior talent Improved Cleave because Alliance raids complained it was OP. Wonder why.
• The Dead Scar was created when Saurfang accidentally dropped his axe on the floor on the Sunwell Isle. He did it again in Orgrimmar, and it cleaved the canyon to Razor Hill.
• Everyone knows that all the lore about the Sundering and the Well of Eternity was just a myth. The big swirly thing in the middle of the map screen was actually caused by Saurfang sitting down. That is the reason why he has to stand up all the time. That is also the reason why us humans invented the word "continents".
• When Saurfang came into existence, all the big shots of WoW decided to migrate, and various landmasses and dimensions decided to break off. That's the reason why we have so many realms. But what happened to the original realm? Blizzard just decided not to put it up for us people to select, feeling that the mortality rate would shoot through the roof, and all the Spirit Healers would retire.
• Once upon a time, Saurfang farted. Gnomeregan remains irradiated.
• High Overlord Saurfang once said "It wasn't me! It was the one-armed troll!" — Zul'jin's arm remains severed.
• High Overlord Saurfang once had a massive thirst. Afraid to put the blame on Saurfang, the Cenarion Expedition insisted that the Naga were responsible for draining the Dead Mire of its water.
• There is no Cow Level. Or at least not since Saurfang was there. His awesomeness destroyed it to the point where everyone who knew of its existence was made to think it didn't exist.
• Dwarves are really gnomes trained by Saurfang.
• William Shatner joined the horde because he's too afraid of Saurfang to join the Alliance.
• It was in fact Saurfang, not Mr. T, who created the Mohawk class.
• Sargeras wasn't actually corrupted. Saurfang forced him to create the Burning Legion so he had something to kill.
• Saurfang urinated in the water of Wailing Caverns and it became corrupted because the water couldn't contain that much awesomeness.
• Kwee Q. Peddlefeet won't go away because Saurfang wants him to stay and annoy the crap out of everyone.
• People are AFK in battlegrounds because they are scared that High Overlord Saurfang may be in the battle.
• Saurfang the Younger is not really Saurfang's child. He is actually Saurfang himself, who Saurfang kidnapped as a newborn using the Caverns of Time. This has been done by Saurfang for thousands of years to grant him everlasting life. The Bronze Dragonflight still have no idea how taking his newborn self to the future does not damage his existence.
• The last time Saurfang performed a cannonball, Un'Goro Crater was created.
• Dalaran moved to Northrend because of High Overlord Saurfang.
• The Dark Portal was known as the Sunshine Portal until Saurfang walked through it.
• Saurfang was actually the Titan's chosen guardian of Azeroth; Saurfang's refusal's created the Dragon Aspects.
• The Great Sundering was caused when Saurfang farted in the Caverns of Time...
• Once, Saurfang took a walk from Duskwood to the Swamps of Sorrows. This is why there is no sign of life in Deadwind Pass.
• Barrens Giraffes were created when Saurfang uppercut a Zhevra.
• The  [Corrupted Ashbringer] was actually forged by High Warlord Saurfang from a ballpoint pen, two chunks of granite, three copper bars, continuous spitting, and a half mug of Chen Stormstout's beer.
• Raids are not epic encounters against the various supernatural denizens of Azeroth. They are actually garage sales for items Saurfang does not desire anymore.
• High Overlord Saurfang secretly contrived the invasion of the Burning Legion to challenge his strength.
• Area-effect target caps were implemented after Saurfang used Cleave on Stormwind and it shattered Draenor.
• High Overlord Saurfang was once dared by Thrall to punch a wall in Orgrimmar. The impact created Ragefire Chasm.
• High Overlord Saurfang demands 6 hours of silence for meditation every week. The result of this is Tuesday morning downtime.
• Once, when High Overlord Saurfang was one-manning Ironforge, he needed more adds for a proper [Whirlwind]. So he charged Stormwind, straight through the mountain. This created the tunnel later utilized by the gnomes when they built the Deeprun Tram.
• The Horde lost the Second War because High Overlord Saurfang simply got bored.
• High Overlord Saurfang used to be able to be mind controlled by Alliance players. Blizzard later changed this because Saurfang killed half of the Blizzard crew and said that he only obeyed himself.
• The Light that paladins and priest pray to is actually a by product of High Overlord Saurfang's rage. The Naaru are just trinkets that High Overlord Saurfang has no use for.
• Outland still exists because it's afraid to be on the same world with High Overlord Saurfang.

External links

Note that on these websites 'Saurfang' is constantly misspelled as 'Chuck Norris' Do take note that Saurfang did take care of those who misspelled his name.

• The top 100 Saurfang facts
• A website that generates a random Saurfang fact
• More Saurfang facts