These are the people in your pug.
Some players are in a large, well-organized guild that will power level them right up to end game content, and they play with the same 10-25 people for their entire career. Most players, however, have to do the vast majority of their outdoor group quests, 5-man instances and sometimes even raids, with a collection of complete strangers. While trolling the LFG tool, these are the people who turn up:
The Disgruntled Raider
"Come on, how can you wipe on Kargath??" He's used to a well-organized raid where everyone knows their responsibilities and works together. Now he's being asked to adjust his playing style and can't believe what noobs you all are. Is geared to the point that he could probably solo the instance, or at least thinks he is. Hates pugs.
The Terrible Tank
"Come on guys, wait until I have five sunders out on those three guys before you start dps" Chances are he's never tanked before and isn't geared or specced. He told you this when you whispered him, but you have been spending the past 40 minutes whispering random players who *could* be tanks so you invited him in. He's horrible. His tank gear is mostly greens and random quest rewards that he happened to have lying around. Can't hold aggro and can't take hits. You stick with him anyway because you ask yourself where are you going to find another tank?
The Guy in a Hurry
"I have to leave in 10 mins, can we hurry this up?" (10 minutes in) Come on, hurry up, he doesn't have much time! This guy usually does Magisters' Terrace in 20 minutes, or at least claims to. Can't believe you're wasting his time and taking so long. If your group spends too much time drinking, healing, or buffing he will help you along by pulling for you. He's going to leave the first time this causes a wipe. Has never played a healer or tank and does not intend to start now.
"those guys in robes are casters, you'll have to LOS pull" Knows every spell cast by every mob in every instance and feels obligated to share this information...every pull. He's great when trying to remember which mob casts fear but less so when starting his dissertation on how that mob with the axe is going to hit the tank, so that tank will have to be healed. The only known way to shut him up is to pull.
The PVP all-star
(doesn't say anything, just bloodrages to intercept whoever the tank is trying to LOS pull) He might have some arena gear, but suspiciously, most of his gear seems to be from battleground tokens. Probably has as many health points as the tank, but unfortunately also the same dps output. If you're lucky, he'll remember that fearing isn't as great in a crowded instance as it is in Alterac Valley.
"Hang on guys, I'm not ready yet ... brb phone" There's no time like when you're running an instance to start a laundry, microwave some food, call your mom, or walk your dog...especially when you're a tank/healer. This guy constantly needs you to wait, and chances are good he won't be ready when you pull anyway. Always seems to be around when you roll on loot. The mortal enemy of The Guy in a Hurry. Probably related to The Guy in a Hurry.
"crickets chirping" A close relative of Mr. Wait, except that this person NEVER says anything about going AFK. You will be merrily killing trash in The Nexus on the way to the next boss when a glance at your minimap reveals an arrow pointing back to where this person is standing with his finger up his ass. Like Mr. Wait, always seems to catch up to the party just in time to loot the boss. Could be an inconsiderate version of Mr. Wait, be a lazy ninja, or just have a bad connection. If the last, may disconnect and reconnect until either he is kicked or he gets his issues resolved.
The Wonder Twins
(they're probably sitting next to each other in RL) Two or more people from the same guild who start or join a pug. They support each other pretty well, but you know they're talking about you in guild chat. If one of them needs something, they both roll need on it to increase the chance of success.
"I need 10 gold to repair, is anyone in Thrallmar?" He's flat-out broke. The first bad sign was when he had to borrow money to repair...before the run even started. If he's a hunter, he's down to his last stack of arrows. If he's a caster, he's out of reagents. If you lend him some gold, he can port back and take care of it. Oh, and he'll need a summon. Oh yeah, and does anyone have any buff food?
Player who's never run an instance before
"Wow this is really cool!" At least he's enthusiastic. He's the warlock who soulstones himself and summons a voidwalker. He's not really sure how or why a skull keeps appearing over some mobs, but won't waste your time by asking about it. Doesn't have a threat meter, but probably couldn't pull aggro anyway. If you ask him to CC, he will happily cast sheep...then stand there, watching the sheep, until he has to recast. Will apologize profusely any time somebody complains. Mostly innocent. If you add him/her to your friends list and run a few more times with them, you may actually make a decent player out of them.
Non-native English speaker
"needing an Fortatud pls" Doesn't speak much. When he does, it's in broken, poorly spelled English. On the other hand, this describes a great many other lolwut'ers in chat as well. These guys come in two flavors: people who will play their role/s well, and wipe-tards.
Guy who wants to use Vent
"Vent Info: ..." (on a macro) Their guild has a Ventrilo server, with a room called "5man_PUG" or similar. Even though only 2-3 people in the group can join, he communicates all pertinent and relevant information over Voice.
The Annoying Asshat
"My god, you guys suck. I mean, how damn hard is it to Fear-juggle those three mobs and DPS the boss at the same time?" This guy is the scourge of any pug. He knows how to play, and probably has a level 80 of every class, but he has the habit of telling people what to do — and not in a nice way. Most of the groups he joins break before they reach the first boss due to his constant flaming. Usually plays a Warlock, Warrior or Priest.
The Random CC'er
CC's random mobs as they're being pulled. Did we ask for CC? Is something marked? No, but they sheep/sap/freeze it anyway. Often innocent, though there is a strong possibility that they are an Annoying Asshat (see above) at the same time. The one time you DO ask for crowd control will invariably be the time the mob resists, possibly resulting in a wipe, and possibly resulting in raised blood-pressure.
Mr. Meter Envy
"Anyone got a DPS Meter?" Maybe he's >ahem< "compensating" for something. Anyway, his only purpose in joining groups is to show how much better he is than everyone else. And by "better", he means higher on the DPS meter. If they are the one with the meter, count on it being posted after every boss, or every tricky pull. If he's a mage, he'll pull a group with a trinked-up Pyroblast as soon as the tank's marked a skull, then AOE. If he's a warrior, he'll intercept (usually before the tank has a chance to hit), whirlwind, and probably start cleaving for good measure. Even if he sucks, he didn't clear his DPS meter before the run started so he'll be ahead anyway. Will whine horribly if you ask him to CC. Refuses to pick up adds in Black Morass. If he dies, he'll blame the tank or healer. If he dies twice, he leaves (after posting his dps meter just to show you how unworthy you were to have him anyway).
The GearScore God
"Your GS is too low to be in here, noob!" While more commonly found in raids, can still make the occasional appearance in 5-mans. Doesn't wipe his ass without consulting GearScore to ensure his toilet paper is leet enough to do the job. Will initiate kick votes based solely on what he thinks to be the minimum GearScore necessary to do an instance without giving the character in question a chance to prove otherwise. Can sometimes be found in Trade chat making ludicrous minimum GearScore demands for pugs he is filling such as "LFM 10 ICC 6K GS minimum!" when anyone that well equipped will almost certainly not need any gear from the instance in question (meaning he's either getting gear for himself or his friends, or he's also a Master of Tank 'N Spank). Related to Mr. Meter Envy, and quite often is the same person. Will also blame whatever role(s) he is not performing for wipes and will likely leave right after one.
The Master of Tank 'N Spank
"Just burn 'em!" Believes that fight mechanics no longer matter in heroic 5-mans when wearing T10 gear, even the ICC ones. Will quickly attribute all wipes to a lack of DPS and wonder why the group cannot burn Scourgelord Tyrannus down in 20 seconds while he stands in one place and does not kite him. Will sometimes do the same thing for raids and can be distinguished as such by showing characteristics of being a GearScore God (see above). Needless to say, almost always a tank. Will hurl a few choice insults before either doing a vote-to-kick on the offending party (if he has other guildies with him) or will leave after a wipe or two. Fraternal twin of the Annoying Asshat.
You have no clue what this guy is doing, but its obvious he's doing it wrong. He's the rogue with only one weapon. He's the hunter without a pet. He's the tank in cloth or, god forbid, naked. He's not a ninja, though he will occasionally need something he doesn't need. You think he's a noob until you realize they know the instance and all the bosses. There's no explanation for what they're doing other then "WTF?"
The Death Knoob
"No sorry, I haven't trained Anti Magic Zone, I'm only half specced unholy, I don't know what spec I am" or "Woops! Wrong presence, didn't mean to over aggro....." The scourge of the group (no pun intended), even worse than that resto Druid with 20 points in feral. Probably abandoned his main at level 55 to play a DK. With poorly used death grips and uncontrolled minions, they provide nothing for the group except more wipes than that Huntard rolling on the tanking plate. They think death knights benefit from caster stats, making them the mortal enemies of paladins and shaman. Only way to solve it - kick him or leave the group. Though, with that group..... they'll probably get the Huntard using healing cloth tanking or the DK who thinks he can heal put to the test. What's next? A fury warrior tanking? Don't answer that actually... If you've PUG'd a group for an Outland dungeon, they may still actually be decent, if only because they put out way more DPS then any other class at the same level and gear (*cough, cough* [OP] *cough*). Unfortunately, they will learn the hard way that button mashing does not work so well in Northrend dungeons, causing them a great deal of confusion and giving you a bad headache.
The laggy DPS
"Guys I'm lagging like hell soz...." Generally the tanking Huntard's excuse for the DPS of a level 20, however this also counts for that resto/feral healer for specing like that...will usually disconnect as soon as they've been assigned another role in the group, i.e. Off Tanking, Off Healing, Crowd Controlling,etc. Oddly enough the internet will probably pick back up as soon as loot drops.
The Guy Who Plays Too Much
"LOL, your ap is only 4.5k" generally a hunter who believes in the Hunter loot tradition: he ninjas anything in Naxx that looked attractive, so he probobly has full epics. Believes he is better than you, and WILL mock you. It's best to use loot master so he doesn't get anything, so if you're a Hunter, ITS YOURS!!!
The "Newly" Leveled Ninja
This guy has full epics without telling you, putting on half decent made gear. He just wants the cash from it. Tell everyone to need it if he needs. Kick if he persists.
The Guy With Stupid Gear
You slap yourself with this guy. His DPS sucks beyond belief and will always use bad gems (maybe not even use gems at all). Either new to 80 or some idiot. That necklace that drops less than 3% of the time and just now dropped and would help the tank out A LOT cannot be had because Mr. Clothie wants it because...well, no one knows. Enemy of Ninja and generally is a mage. After about three wipes due to this guy, you find yourself WISHING for the good-old-days of clothadins.
The Talkative Nut
This person will distract you like hell, either with all the talking or making you drool at how hot you think she is with all her sex talk. 99% of their jokes are not funny. They cause too many wipes but mean well. Tell them nicely to stfu and they will. They generally have high repairs and generally an elf.
The eBay Player
This guy is level 80 with full epics, but doesn't have a damn clue what he's doing. Will often ask questions that anybody who's played the game for a couple of weeks would know, such as, "What does WTB stand for?", or, "What's a DPS?" If you wanna have some fun, ask him what spec he is, and see just how much he knows about talents. Will roll need on everything - never mind the fact that mages can't use plate, let alone that what he's got is 10 times better than what he's rolling on. He means well, mind you; he was just too lazy to actually level his toon and learn the game. Still manages to put out decent DPS, if only because he's in full T10. See also Player who's Never Run an Instance Before.
The Extreme Roleplayer
"The vile spirits that roam within Naxxramas must me cleansed! Kel'thuzad will pay for his crimes to the Alliance. Today, a fatal blow will be dealt to the Scourge. Attack! For Bolvar! For the Kirin Tor! FOR THE ALLIANCE!!!!" Normally, there is nothing wrong with roleplayers. However, some people may get annoyed at that one guy who, in the middle of a boss fight, leaves his character on auto-attack just so he can write a long monologue on how much he hates that boss because it killed his mother, father, and little baby elekk. This guy's speeches are worse then Tirion Fordring's ICC intro. Most likely knows at least 90% of all Warcraft lore, and gets annoyed at those who apparently are unaware (or just don't care) that Illidan caused the death of your father's half-brother's girlfriend's cousin Naisha while the very same Illidan is gleefully annihilating the poor dysfunctional pug. Commonly a draenei or a Forsaken. Is NEVER a gnome or troll.
Guy who doesn't help summon
"Can I get a summons some time today??" This guy trolls around the LFG channel, and he'll join any group. At which time, he keeps doing whatever he was doing before. He could be questing in the same zone as the stone, heck he could be right on top of it. But one thing's for sure, he isn't about to stop for something as silly as helping the group get started. This won't stop him from asking for a summon every 20 seconds. Even if he's in a Violet Hold group.
The Silly Joker
“My racial sux, but at least I have the best /train in the game!! :P” After your first instance with this guy you’ll either have him in your friends list or in your KOS list. Usually plays as a troll or a dwarf, he knows every emote on the game and will use them all the time. He will /moon the boss and throw Empty Brew Bottle at the mobs. He will call Arugal a pimp because he has many Sons of Arugal and will hit on Princess Theradras. Usually he is harmless, as long as he doesn’t go on auto attack to make sexist jokes about Grim Guzzler.
The Undergeared Dude
"Whoops, sorry guys. I didn't realize that we needed ALL epics in ICC." This dude is still in his quest greens and roic blues. Commonly a death knight, hunter, or rogue. If alliance, it's a gnome, night elf, or draenei. If horde, almost undoubtedly a blood elf or perhaps a Forsaken. See Donkey Kong.
The Humble God
When the group starts he doesn't really stand out. He plays a hybrid class like pally, druid, or shaman. He's quiet, and besides the initial "hello" or occasional "gratz", he doesn't say anything. He's not the top of the dps meter, but he's not pulling aggro so it doesn't matter. Then someone messes up. The tank dies, then the healer, then a dps. The other dps hearths. Yet this guy refuses to be defeated. He heals, cc's,dps's and tanks until the mobs are dead, often blowing his cooldowns and exhausting his potions and bandages. He's on the verge of death and oom. But he's alive. He drinks if he can then rezzes the group as the other dps finally runs back. When you try to thank him, he /bows and says "Don't mention it." You wish you get him in your next PUG, but you never see him again, leaving you to wonder if he ever existed or if it was all a dream.
This guy will use life tap, die, and ask why he wasn't healed. This guy will stand next to Jaraxxus, use hellfire, die, and ask why he wasn't healed. Brings his voidwalker into the raid. Often uses Life Funnel to heal his pet mid-boss encounter. Often the Undergeared Dude. Almost always a gnome.
The Epic Geared Elitist
"You guys stink...this is getting expensive." This guy's in gear that looks like it drops off Sargeras. Gear score is his best friend...and even if the item is an upgrade, if it takes him below 5000 gear score, he doesn't equip it. His homepage is wow-heroes.com. He's got an attitude to go with it. Often a paladin tank.
The PvP geared guy
This guy got in because the leader is dumb enough to look at his 5500 gear score without actually looking at his gear and calling him "awesome." His gear is the best gladiator's gear with resilience and stamina enchants/gems. He is almost always a dps, and often a melee dps.
The Silent KillerThis guy manages to top the DPS charts and it doesn't even seem like he's trying. He rarely (if ever) speaks, and at most it's just a greeting and a farewell at the start and end of the instance. He seems to be wearing kick ass gear, and you suspect the only reason he's slaughtering everyone on the DPS chart is because of his gear, until you notice that he's never once pulled aggro and the Tank is drastically undergeared compared to him. Mortal enemy of Mr. Meter Envy because despite Mr. Meter Envy's failure to reset his Recount after doing daily quests and a few other randoms before hand, this guy still managed to beat him out.
The Leeroy Jenkins
This guy is usually mistaken for a silent killer or a magic tank until you're usually at the boss. Then they /y LEEEEEEROY JENKINS! and charge the boss and attempt to pull additional mobs. This almost always leads to a wipe but is usually a one time thing, unlike the Pull Maniac. Most of the time they're trying to be funny, so just tell them they're 6 years too late.
The Pull Maniac
Almost always a hunter. This person is more frequently found in lower level dungeons. You have never seen this person lift a finger to attack a mob that's already on you. Instead, they are scouring the instance for a mob to pull. Their reaction to any situation is pull more mobs. The Healer's out of mana! Pull more mobs. The Tank is dead! Pull more mobs. The thing they fear the most is a moment without mobs. Oh, and they WILL ninja whatever drops. The tank is about to commit suicide. The healer's mana is in the negatives. The other Dpses are angry that they keep dying. Strangely, the Pull Maniac never suffers as a result. Why hasn't he been vote kicked? Because you can't votekick someone during combat! At the end of the instance, the group's gear is all red, the tank is pissed, the healer is ashamed, the Dpses are sulking, and the Pull Maniac has gotten away with all your phat lewtz. Good times.
The Magic Tank
This is the tank version of The Silent Killer, sadly, he's not always in your group. Did The Pull Maniac just pull the entire instance? The Magic Tank has it sorted out. Accidental pull? No problem. His eyes miss nothing. Are you trying to ninja loot? He'll roll Need just to spite you. If you're a total asshat and this guy's on your server, watch out. He has connections and while he won't say anything in the party, he'll make sure that you NEVER get into a good guild on your server. If the DPS sucks, or are drastically less geared than he is, he might top the Damage Charts. Mortal enemy of The Pull Maniac.
The One-Hit Failure
The dude's incredible. At first glance, you may mistake them for the Silent Killer or the Magic Tank. They either top the dps charts, keep aggro against infallible odds, or never let anyone drop below 50%. You worship them. However, as the pug goes on, they will do something so outlandishly stupid that you wonder if they're even the same person. Be it putting up path of frost while falling down the Passage of Lost Fiends in Azjol-Nerub, standing at the bottom of the pyramid in Zul'Farrak, or going Pull Maniac, this person finds a way to wipe your group. They will apologize profusely, and will not make the same mistake again. A good addition to your group, but be ready for his oncoming failure.
The Zerg Puller
Runs through trash like police are at the door and he has to hide the miniature horse dressed in studded black leather in the back bedroom. No icons, no warning, and often with himself at 30% and healer out of mana and he's pulling the next 3 trash mob packs. Only time a break happens is for loot after a boss. Either knows how much he can handle or always bites off way more than he can chew. Always has to stop to remind the DPS to wait until the trash is all gathered up before attacking or loses mobs to healing aggro. See also guy in a hurry, terrible tank, the pull maniac, and the annoying asshat. Mortal enemy of Mr. Wait!
The Annoying Tank
Normally a warrior, this person always has a DPS meter and uses it liberally. Constantly talking about how he is out-DPSing everyone and will either be kicked or leave before the end of the instance. He whines incessantly yet never actually helps, not to be confused with the helpful person.
The Helpful Person
The helpful person can play any class and usually has a DPS meter. Similar to the annoying tank, but instead of complaining, he actually attempts to help the group.
The Reverse Ninja
If World of Warcraft were the medieval ages and players the inhabitants, then reverse ninjas would be the inquisitors running around looking for witches - the ninjas. Having been traumatized from several incidents where actual ninjas have stolen their loot, reverse ninjas are players that has become so paranoid they automatically presume all other players to be hardcore ninjas. In PuG's they usually command all the other players to always greed on whatever drops, common loot or boss-loot, regardless of whether someone needs something or not. If a player does need on an item, the reverse ninja will unleash a reprimand from hell upon him/her, swiftly followed by a instigated vote to kick the player from the group. Reverse ninjas share the common belief with most players that ninjas should be punished and avoided, but they do not realize that their acts to prevent ninjas deprive players from loot the players deserve, thus actually making reverse ninjas the ninjas.
The Group That's Out To Get You
If you're a Hunter, this probably happens to you often. The tank is a Terrible Tank, the healer is The Annoying Asshat, one of the other dpses is a Pull Maniac, another is The Epic Geared Elitist/Reverse Ninja (either one may be present), and then there's you. The thing that makes this collection of morons and losers different is the fact that they all. Hate. YOU. Did the tank lose aggro and wipe the group? You're pulling too much aggro. Did the Pull Maniac just pull half the instance? You should stop pulling, you moron! Did a piece of gear you really want drop? You ninja, you stole it! No matter what happens, it's all your fault. The only reason you haven't been votekicked is because the Pull Maniac is constantly wading through mobs, which is also your fault. Often, the healer announces that you aren't getting any heals, the tank says he won't pull aggro of you, and in extreme cases they threaten to report you for your griefing. It's mostly ignored that you're wtfpwning all the dps meters. Whenever you feel yourself being sucked into one of these, leave the group. As stated previously, this happens to hunters alot. After the run is over, chances are good that they log on to wowwiki and add a passive-aggressive category to this article like "The aggro-happy huntard".
As soon as the tank or healer drops (or hit 25% health), he's gone, even if your pug has three paladins. He's running for the entrance at the first hint of a wipe, no matter how far it is. Will defend his actions by saying he can't afford repair bills or is trying to save money for fast flying. Will, on occasion, kite a boss through the entire instance because he was #2 on the aggro list and the tank just died. Refuses to believe that a fight can be won after someone in the group dies.