Crowley facts

This is a silly article.
The content of this article is not part of official Warcraft lore, but has nevertheless become part of the World of Warcraft culture or community.

Lord Darius Crowley considers "weapons" to be just a suggestion.

This article contains "true" facts about Lord Darius Crowley. They started after he revealed his greatness by his mastery of cleaving his enemies with his bare hands, and received it's base from many discussions on the forums.

Facts must be Warcraft-related, must not be repeated from facts already in the list, and must use good, concise, English grammar. Incoherent, unfunny, or facts which are similar to another will be edited out. Facts must also be "appropriate."

Facts

• Lord Darius Crowley now has an apprentice. That apprentice punched Deathwing in the face!
• Lord Darius Crowley met High Overlord Saurfang once. The result was the Cataclysm.
• Lord Darius Crowley does not have one eye because he does not need one.
• Lord Darius Crowley once wielded a two-handed longsword, but discarded it as useless once he found out he could cleave enemies better with his bare hands!
• Lord Darius Crowley wields a polearm just after lunch, as a toothpick.
• Lord Darius Crowley is believed to have lived in the village named Pyrewood once, before the Greymane Wall was erected. The Wall became an obstacle once Crowley wanted to go back, so he cleaved his way through, resulting in the shattering of the Greymane Wall.
• Lord Darius Crowley was the first person to attain  [Shadowmourne]. He disenchanted it shortly after.
• Darius Crowley used to wield  [Axe of the Gronn Lords] with his teeth. He sold it when he realised his fists did more damage on their own.
• Vordrassil was not corrupted because of Yogg-Saron; Darius Crowley used it as a back-scratcher.
• Darius Crowley was leveling his Blacksmithing when one day he got slightly frustrated and cleaved the block of metal with his fists. The cosmic awesome gave life to the metal. It came to be called a Titan.
• Darius Crowley is the only person to have nearly equaled the awesomeness of Varok Saurfang
• Darius Crowley once had a pet. His pet once tried to get into World of Warcraft before he did, so he locked it in his basement.
• Darius Crowley once threatened to cleave through Naxxramas with his bare hands, that's why it moved to Northrend.
• Darius Crowley once forced Ozzy Osbourne to make a song about him. The song is now known as "Mister Crowley".
• Darius Crowley lives in Eastern Kingdoms and High Overlord Saurfang lives in Kalimdor. Why? Because one Great Sundering was bad enough.
• Darius Crowley solo'd Pre-Patched C'Thun.
• Darius Crowley has an eye-patch. Why? Well... someone had to make C'Thun look cool!
• Lord Darius Crowley learned from High Overlord Saurfang's mistake, saving his daughter before undeath claimed her.
• Lord Darius Crowley once had a student. Unfortunately, he could not take the power of the cleave
• The reason why Deathwing was hiding was because Darius Crowley was waiting to fist cleave him. He then came out of hiding when Crowley was busy fist cleaving the Forsaken. He stills fears him.
• It is told in a prophecy that some day, Crowley and Saurfang will face each other in an apocalyptic battle that will cleave the entire universe. Blizzard will try to interfere but all Blizz gms will be cleaved. The only thing that will be left of the universe is Hogger. Crowley and Saurfang will teleport to an alternate universe, which will also someday be destroyed.
• Many have made fun of Crowley's head while in his worgen form. Their bodies were later found with fist-cleave-marks in them.
• Darius once had a false eye, but he lost it in the Temple of Ahn'Qiraj somewhere.
• Darius Crowley has many aliases. Among them are Daruius Charming and Darius Alarming.
• Mr. Crowley did talk to the dead.
• Darius Crowley and High Overlord Saurfang once entered a staring contest. The result was the Cataclysm.