This is a silly article

This article is silly. Coming from a source other than the computer games, trading card game, novels, RPG, or manga, its content is not part of official Warcraft lore, but nevertheless has become part of the culture belonging to the World of Warcraft community.

Do you want to get a big heap of Honor Points in the Battleground? Then here is the strategic guide that all high level players unconsciously use:

Warsong Gulch

The object of this Battleground is to get the ... Thing. The thing on the stick. With a picture on it. The importance of the thing is that if you get it back to your base, you get points. Points are good. If you are on the Alliance, you should grab the red thing with the black mark that looks like a hoof. If you are Horde, you should target the blue thing with a gold lion's head on it. Once you have the thing, retreat to your home base and "cap" it. This happens automatically so don't worry. If the enemy team has the thing, then KILL THE DUDE WITH THE THING! and subsequently TAKE THE THING BACK TO YOUR BASE AND DEFEND IT BETTER NEXT TIME, YOU FOOL! The People in the Battlegrounds are probably going to help you with the dude-killing, but don't count on it. Remember that dudes without the thing are not as important as the dude with the thing, except for dudes healing the dude with the thing. If you have the thing, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE.

Arathi Basin

The object of this Battleground is to take an area with military force and convert it to your faction. This place then makes you resources and racks up your faction's points. To reiterate, Points. Are. GOOD. Taking a location requires you to fool around with a thing (hooray!). Change the enemy thing to your thing, and DEFEND THE FREAKING THING. If it changes back to the enemy thing, convert it back and defend it better. Note that what has been said about the appearance of things above should be applied here. Killing other people means that they have to wait for a rez or just run back to their body. The second option can be neutronised by taking their sigil. Not sure why. Remember, Points are good.

Eye of the Storm

In Eye of the Storm, remember this: If the other team goes for the things in the middle, DO NOT TRY TO TAKE THE THINGS. Their strategy only works if you try to get the thing as well, so grab some towers. That way, they have wasted their time and now they have a useless thing that they can't do anything to. Always go for the towers, but if the call of the thing is too much, then make sure you have your group, and go get some things. Remember, you must get 1600 points; not 16 or 160, 1600. Remember: POINTS ARE GOOD!!!!! Also resource nodes cannot be mined, skinned, fished or picked. Repeat, CANNOT BE HARVESTED BY ANY METHOD!

Alterac Valley

The goal here, regrettably, does not involve things. It does, however, focus on killing people (double hooray!). Reduce the enemy reinforcement counter to zero. Kill the commander and you win automatically, but remember that the general dude is defended by enemy dudes and enemy NPCs. You can also reduce reinforcements by killing the captain dude, burning the towers and bunkers that enemy dudes hide in, freeing your three Wing Commander dudes, capturing the enemy dude's graveyard, capturing the two enemy mines will give you a reinforcement dude every 45 seconds, although the rate of dude-killing is many times that, collecting supplies to turn into some quest dudes, and killing players. Keep your reinforcements high and keep their reinforcements low, and you will get tonnes of honor points.

Strand of the Ancients

This one is very different from the others. It requires WotLK, and also it has two rounds. You have to break through walls, which awards points. Points do not have to be accrued to win. To win, you must get a thing (Note: this is not the thing that is important for the other BGs, but a different thing. Whole different biscuit.) Depending on how fast you got your thing, you will win or lose. The defensive team must prevent the enemy attacking team from getting the thing, and they can and will kill you. Attacking teams have Siege Engines, and defenders have turrets, so FIGHT! Remember, kids: Don't drink and drive in this BG. It will only make you look like a fool because you will be too unpredictable to be defended. And even massive siege machines need to be defended from enemy players.

Isle of Conquest

Essentially combines Arathi Basin and Alterac Valley into one small lump of off-shore rock. Controlling various places will give new siege weapons to break down gates of places, give you a zeppelin, give you a Glaive Thrower weapon and you also get catapults. Again, killing the general wins you this place, and you also need to reduce their reinforcements down to zero. But capturing sites gives you weapons for blowing up stuff and mutilating dudes. Remember that the general dude is cowering in a citadel, so GET IN THERE AND KICK 'IM INNA NUTS! Also, other players will try to take your stuff. Kill them if they do.

And that ends the Advanced Battlegrounds Strategy guide! Please feel free to add anything that you felt was missing. Please, however, leave the terminology as it is. This will make your lives easier. There other battlegrounds in development, and when we receive more intelligence on them, due to the committed "serious" writers of WoW wiki, you will here more.

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